Pack dependence

On this morning's run, I had time to contemplate the concept of pack.

The girls and I are a pack of three. We depend upon, support, and nurture each other. We hang together, watching out for each other. We entertain each other.

These thoughts ran with me down the trail because of events yesterday that initially disappointed me, leaving me feeling very vulnerable and alone in this big world.

Two people - one a family member - whom I'd come to depend upon threw significant monkey wrenches in plans I'm making for my future, plans to create a dog sanctuary. I felt defeated, deflated, down. Maia seemed to sense my dark mood as she followed me through the house, nudging my thigh with her head, offering her face to stroke. It worked. I felt calmer.

And I realized: those people aren't members of my pack. Their goals and interests are not mine. I shouldn't rely upon them to look our for my goals and interests. My pack provides me with the day to day sustenance that gets me through the peaks and valleys of life; my pack shares my goals and interests.

I give away too much of me if others can have such sway over my life and sense of well being.

As we three went out into the forest this morning, trying (but failing) to beat the heat, I understood that this small pack of mine provides me all the inner emotional support I need to go out into the world and accomplish my goals. People often disappoint. Dogs provide unconditional love. That unconditional love is the oomph and kick and keeps me moving down life's trails of discovery.

These amazing dogs I live with teach me over and over again (since I seem slow to learn some lessons) that I can draw upon my own ability to thrive by focusing on the here and now, on what I can directly shape and create, and most importantly, that pursuing my dreams despite the disappointments and naysayers is a necessary element of my happiness and fulfillment. They teach me this by taking me out into the big world - the forest - and helping me see what life at it's most basic is all about: it's the pack that matters, stupid.